i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
