Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
