You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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