Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
