There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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