Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
