On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
