I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
