Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize