Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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