Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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