There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
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How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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