Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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