K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
