Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
