If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
