You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
