Are we in a gay sports bar?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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