why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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