Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
