its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
