Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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