maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
