I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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