I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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