I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I think people are normalizing furries
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
