woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
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Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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