my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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