butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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