how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just gargled with NyQuil
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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