In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
