the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
