coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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