every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
