great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
