i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
