i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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