Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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