I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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