Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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