i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
