She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
