She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
