Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
