I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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