We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize