i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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