Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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