I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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