are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
