She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
