It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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