you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
