did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
