I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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