Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We need to rekindle our bromance
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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