the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
