So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
