So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
