Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
and eventually we just all took our pants off
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
