if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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