I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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