I got chris browned last night
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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