I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
