my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
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Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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